User talk:Spartan describer243
Welcome Hi, welcome to Dead Space Fanon Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the User blog:Spartan describer243 page. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! -- Subtank (Talk) 02:28, April 29, 2011 The Spartans. Hi. I am also a major fan of halo as well as DS. Your story has a very good concept and the current version isnt bad but it seems more like a plan for it. You need to put more detail in and expand it more with longer chapters, imagery and interesting dialogue. U are doing something no one has done before which means you have a fair but of freedom. I found the storyline was like Pelican- Instant travelt to DS-Ishimura which isn;t the best way. It gets to the point but has no suspense. U should explore the planet, have the mysterious pedestal maybe, the hivemind? The Ishimura's discovery should be explored, have them maybe comb the colonies archives and find out what happened, they should also realise early on they arent in their univrse anymore, maybe find out about EarthGov and Earths current situation and the CEC and the planet crackers. Just some ideas for you but ignore them if you want, it's just to add adventure and suspense. Your FriendPowerSeeker 14:36, May 1, 2011 (UTC) Well, i dont want to gie out any spoilers in the stroy right now, by i will say that the spartans, O.D.S.Ts and Jahea, will eventually go down to Aegis Seven, not saying when, but they will go there, and i will try and be more in detail of whats going on, on what the scenery is like, on i hope the finished stroy (with your help) will be the best crossover story. And as far as Earthgov goes, those dickheads will come in a different version of this story when this one is finished, and who knows, i might throw some necromorph concepts, you never know. And im always up for sum new ideas. Spartan describer243 16:23, May 1, 2011 (UTC) I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but if you need help, try reading my first story, Betrayal. I have a lot of filler and detail implanted into it and it might give you a leg up. What I was suggesting was re doing the story by adding in the detail and imagery to build the suspense of arriving on the Ishimura instead of them going there straight away.Just a suggestion.PowerSeeker 16:44, May 1, 2011 (UTC) You know what, thats what i felt that was missing from my story, detail and imagery, im going to try my best at it, but like it said at top of the story page, im just an amatuer. Spartan describer243 16:59, May 1, 2011 (UTC) I am also an amateur at fanon but I like to think my stories are good. Message me if u need me to help u again PowerSeeker 19:17, May 1, 2011 (UTC) Believe me i will, and get ready to read a little more of chapter seven, i threw in a character from the DS game, ull find it intersting Spartan describer243 19:23, May 1, 2011 (UTC) Hiya!!! DS2117 22:37, May 2, 2011 (UTC) what up Ds2117? Spartan describer243 23:05, May 2, 2011 (UTC) Oh, nothing much.... XD Did you check out my talk page on Red vs. Blue yet??? DS2117 21:22, May 3, 2011 (UTC) No I havent, but i am looking foward to RvB season 9 Spartan describer243 21:26, May 3, 2011 (UTC) I am putting your fanfiction into a blog and we will decide which is the best. Halseymj 15:59, June 8, 2011 (UTC) on the dead space wikia thanks =) Spartan describer243 17:02, June 8, 2011 (UTC) Check it out in one week. I am leaving for a few days and can't do much so when it gets moved I need you to post a message on my page, thanks Halseymj 17:56, June 8, 2011 (UTC) on this wiki? or the original dead space wiki? Spartan describer243 20:50, June 8, 2011 (UTC) The origanal. Halseymj 13:44, June 9, 2011 (UTC) In the forums. Halseymj 13:46, June 9, 2011 (UTC) I just looked at the forums, wow, thanks for puttin one of my stories on there, but you gotta make sure u tell people its on the fanon wiki cause they dont want me to put stuff like a fan made story on the regualar wiki Spartan describer243 14:22, June 9, 2011 (UTC) sorry about this I'm sorry for the inconvience, but due to suspicion of thievery I am canceling the vote. Halseymj 06:49, June 15, 2011 (UTC) Whose under suspicion? Some people spread around that I was some master thief who wanted all their stories and it just escalated from there. Halseymj 17:45, August 4, 2011 (UTC)